Hello friends, I realize I haven’t written in awhile (about a week?) like I had planned. I apologize; my life has been crazy and busy and I have been learning a lot.
Honestly, I work about 80 hours a week, and I realized that as much as I would love to accomplish a 40 day water only fast, because of the demands on my mind and body currently, my performance would be greatly hindered at a point where I really need it.
Secondly, the main reason I wanted to do this fast was because I wanted to take good care of my body and love it the best I could, as well as foster a sense of pride and accomplishment. As I embarked on this mission, I began waking every moment stretching my body, doing a light workout, and then telling my body with my hand over my heart, butt-ass naked: “thank you for all you have done for me. You are enough. I love you and I’m going to take good care of you.” As I did this I would feel a rush of excitement flush through my entire system. After this I say three things I am grateful for, then pray for 3 people, then visualize my success in three goals I am working towards. I got this idea from Tony Robbins, and it is changing my life.
Tony says to ask myself what it is I really want? And then go after it, and if that strategy isn’t working for me, to change my strategy and try again. That is what I have done, and I don’t see that as failure.
I have continued to fast intermittently, and am now at 136lbs. That’s a 12lb loss over the course of a little over 2 weeks, and a 17lb loss over the course of 3 weeks. That is to say, I didn’t “fail” or go back to my old habits of binging and then purging myself in punishment by throwing up or over exercising, or even “starving” myself (I see fasting as something I am doing for my body, but “punishing” myself by not allowing myself to eat is a totally different mentality). I have made more progress both mentally and physically and am continuing to do so.
It’s been an incredible journey, actually, as I become more and more physically and mentally free from the cycle of self-loathing, shame, and anxiety. I am developing a whole new set of skills and thinking patterns that are allowing me to take control of my life and make positive, lasting changes. I am not going to go into it all right now as I have a lot of work to get done, but I just wanted to update my blog on my progress. I figured if anyone is following it, they would see I stopped updating on my fast and assume I went back to my binging ways. I am pleased to report that is not the case at all 🙂
I will post another update when I get a chance, hopefully with photo updates. So far in my weight loss journey I have been doing yoga as my workouts, and this week I will be adding 2 weight lifting workouts a week on days when I am eating. I used to lift weights 6-7 days a week, sometimes for hours at a time…because I am working so much and eating so little, I am trying not to over-stress my body and thus I plan on the 2 weight lifting sessions a week (at least for a bit) and plan to get as much sleep as possible.
Additionally, the food I have been eating has been a good bit healthier than what I was eating before. Not gonna lie beforehand I was loading up on ice cream, scones, muffins, bread, donuts, candy bars…it’s truly shameful. I have not been counting carbs strictly, or testing myself with keto strips, but I am vaguely on a ketogenic diet plan, with healthy fats and vegetables. This has been keeping me mostly free from blood sugar swings and cravings and keeps my body burning fat as it’s primary fuel. I have a body fat caliper and it has continually assured me that the weight I have been losing is actually all fat (at least since I got it 2 weeks ago). #YAAAASS